I do not know where to begin, so I will say it all in one breath: I am moving to Tokyo!
Yes, I made it! Those who know me a little will understand that this is practically a dream come true — and to tell the truth, I still cannot quite believe it entirely :D
I am in a very particular mix of feelings that are difficult to describe.
I am used to travelling alone and for long stretches — I have done so since I was young, since my school days — but this time it is quite different.
In the dimension of travel in which, for better or worse, I had always moved, I was at ease because I had no great worries; I knew with relative certainty when I would return, roughly what I would see and how I would get around; there was no fear or confusion, there was mainly excitement, joy, and a great deal of curiosity to visit and experience a new country and a culture unknown to me.
There was movement, however slow.
Now, by contrast, there is something entirely different, something opposite: there is “stability.” A stability that, even if temporary (perhaps — who knows), I am transplanting completely into another country.
Because in Tokyo I will go to school every day to study the Japanese language, I will have a home to share, a job, groceries to buy, bills to pay, a city to discover and friends to meet. In short, that “normal” life which, for better or worse, I have always led here in my hometown or in Ventotene during the diving season.
The everyday life I am catapulting into a country and a culture light-years removed from our own, yet one that has fascinated me since I was very young. And I go out of my mind with joy at the mere thought! I cannot wait to leave, to set foot on Japanese soil and look around with the wonder of a child entering a playground for the first time.
The fear is there, and that is normal; and I am fine with that, I like it, it is right. Fear is healthy — it helps you grow, to understand your own limits, to put yourself on the line, and it spurs me on even more to achieve the goals I have set myself.
I know well that it will not all be roses and sunshine; I know well that Japan is not only the beauty we imagine it to be; I know what difficulties I will encounter. I do not know how the practical side of things will go, but I know that however it goes it will be a success.
Because pursuing your own goals, working on your own projects with all your soul, body, and passion, facing the difficulties life sets before you — that is always and in any case a success, no matter how it turns out.
And besides, I believe that simply being in contact with other cultures, with people from different parts of the world, exploring a new country, can only bring opportunities, perspectives, experiences, and personal enrichment.
Moments of discouragement will come, I know that well — partly because I am terribly nostalgic and melancholic — but that is part of the game. And besides, I know I am not alone; it is not physical distance that keeps people apart. “Can a distance in space truly separate us from our friends? If you wish to be near someone you love, are you not already there?” Richard Bach wrote in a book very dear to me.
Perhaps never as in these weeks before departure have I realised how many people truly love me (and self-esteem is not exactly my strong suit :P), and among them, above all, my extended, scattered, and delirious family, who have supported and backed me in this adventure from the very beginning and without whom I could never, ever have managed. My greatest thanks go to them: to my parents first of all, to my brother, to Massimo and to my aunt (<- don’t forget the ciambelle!).
And thank you also to all those friends who have always been there, to the new ones, to the rediscovered ones, to the nerdy ones, to my hamsa brothers and sisters who are giving me incredible energy and doing far more than they can imagine :)